of women and their shopping

so how does it feel to go shopping with women?
I wish the answer was simple to explain and easy to understand. But then, it isn't. It never was. It never will be.

let's go about this experience step by step:
1) When you're introduced to this plan of going shopping, a list is put forward.
Note that, this list changes very fast and looks very different during the process of shopping and is almost unrecognizable after the actual shopping is done.

2) Also, care is taken that the list seems very minimalistic in nature when it is first shared with you.
Note that, this list comes with *conditions apply* and as always these conditions are subject to abrupt changes. So a jeans conveniently changes into a Capri and/or a skirt.

3) The obvious question that you (as a guy) would pose, 'so where do we go shopping?' is also answered with reasonable reluctance. You're always given the name of a new shop in a place that always seems like another part of the town.

4) Since, this shop is actually in another part of the town and since the importance of this shopping exercise cannot be questioned, it invariably is at that time of the day when traffic is bumper to bumper. So you would naturally find yourself inside a vehicle not having moved an inch for over an hour. Sensing your displeasure, rants about how 'OTHERS' drive and how 'THE CITY' has such narrow roads are heard. Never and lemme say it again, Never is there any reference to the choice of the shop in the traffic district. As always, the 'World' is at fault.

5) Finally, this shop is arrived at. It has been chosen after friend recommendations and innumerable fashion mag articles. Needless to say, 'Its the best place in town' So you enter the shop. You (as a guy) still are trying to figure out how is it better than the shop you went last month. The clothes look the same. The colours look worse and shop layout, worst. You are told that the shop already looks fresh and haute. You're expected to nod your head in unison. You do.

6) Rack after rack of clothes are checked out, tried upon and many (YES!! MANY) are kept aside. These clothes are then subjected to the 'choosing ritual'. If you thought the world was unfair then you haven't seen a woman choosing her clothes. More about this a little later.

7) While these clothes are being tried on. The questions posed to you are these, 'am I looking booby in it?', 'is it too transi?', 'I think I'm looking fat in it, no?', 'Say it, Don't lie now!'. You obviously won't have any clue about these so you'll just stand there like you're dumb or pretend to be over enthusiastic and suggest almost all the clothes that your eyes fall on. In this process if you actually suggest the lousiest looking dress, You've had it! What follows is better not blogged about.

8) The choice of colours is something I strongly advice guys to be mum about. You never know what all accessories in god-alone-knows-how-many-colours have been amassed by the woman so never ever say this will look good with that footwear of yours. Also never demean a colour. As is NOT widely known, the in-colours change every season.

9) Coming back to the choosing ritual. This is the real thing. The amount of contradictions this involves can give an Abbas-Mastan film goosebumps. A certain top can score on its design and cuts but then 'it doesn't have the fit'. Another one will have the fit, the design and the cuts but then it's a li'l loud or slutty. Another one will have it all but would suddenly be discarded. Dare you question this. So this much hyped shop will suddenly turn out to be a 'damp squib' and you'll find yourself walking out with a fake smile to the shopkeeper 'cos you're embarrassed to have spent the last one hour seeing everything he has, trying out most of it and almost walking upto the cash counter to buy some. The woman, on the other hand, would be as matter of fact as she can get about it and walk out with the what-pathetic-choice-your-shop-has-look!

10) By the end of it, you would have climbed in and out of a dozen shops with the enthusiasm of a 7-yr old let loose in a mango orchard. You would be carrying the bags and the lightest of those would be taken from you because 'I don't want you to carry all the bags alone'.

All readers of this post would be quick to assume that I hate this process. But I beg to differ. I really love this entire process. I love the unpredictabilty that women have. I love the way they are sooo confused, so choosy and yet so sure about what they want. I absolutely love the fact that they are so difficult to understand and yet have absolutely no pretence about themselves. They are who they are and have no issues about it. I love the way they go about their day-to-day activities with this peculiar innocence and yet, can often give the guys a lesson or two in being mature, thoughtful and practical.

Above all, I am always in love with the way every woman on the face of this earth looks soo good and beautiful when she wears the clothes she has chosen. I love the way she blushes when she is complimented on looking stunning and how she always smiles.